TEXT, @ELVIRA (TW: DRUG USE)

[vampirella]

does anyone around here know how to make brownies?

i always just used the duncan hines "throw an egg in and you're done" box mixes, there's like 12 ingredients and 6 steps on this recipe and that's heading into the too much work for hash brownies category

convince me it is worth it, somebody. or better yet, do all the hard work, and i'll even split them with you

( maybe not evenly, but isn't it generous enough to offer to share her toked up baked good that she is trying to get out of making personally??? )

Comments

@mrs.maisel

[maisel]

[ HER TIME IS NIGH ]

Chewy? Fudgey? Cakey? Blondies? What's the recipe call for? Brown sugar? Egg yolks? Cake flour?

I'd love to help. I've never tried making whatever hash is, but I can out bake the shit out of Betty Crocker.

--Midge

[ Was that too forward? Probably. It's at least not as polite as she likes to present herself at first, but baked goods and cooking are serious business. ]

[vampirella]

( oh no it's the perfect amount of forward, and sounding like she knows what the hell she's doing with baked goods. this is perfect. )

god no. as chocolatey as you can make it, let's leave any hint of blonde as far behind us as possible. and fudgey is the vibe i'm going for, i have no clue if this list of things combined in this order would accomplish that.

hash as in marrijuana. the devil's lettuce. whatever, don't worry about that part, just use the butter i give you and it'll be fine

1/2

[maisel]

Of course I have to worry about it. Does it make the butter too oily, or mess with it in some way? Does it work like actual butter or some sort of spread? Should I take into account the aroma? What's the proper butter-to-marijuana ratio?

2/2

[maisel]

I'm going to need to make a smaller test batch before the final product.

--Midge

[ And why the hell hadn't she thought about baking with marijuana before? Why is this just now a thing she's realizing she can do? She's only ever had the occasional marijuana cigarette with Lenny Bruce. ]

[vampirella]

you are really overthinking this. i always threw it in with my box mix and the egg and it always tasted fine.

( can you hear the whine, Midge, even through her lazy texting? bc it's there, she wants her pot brownies now! a test run is just going to take so loooooong!!!! )

my ratio is as much hash as i can put in the butter, so that part is already done. it's like, liquid, does that matter? i hate that you're making me think about this.

[maisel]

Do NOT use pre-packaged mix. God did not put us on the earth and tempt us with carbs just so we could get fat on food that tastes like plastic.

I'm going to have to make some brownies for you to try first and then we are going to have a long conversation about loving yourself because obviously you do not if you're just going to toss in eggs with something out of a box.

--Midge

@nancy

[keenely]

[ mmm brownies. and it wouldn't suck, splitting them and being able to bring some home to steve and el. SO. ]

Do you already have the ingredients? Six steps doesn't seem too complicated.

[vampirella]

( mmmm brownies is right. Carmilla is mostly over eating actual food, but she's still a sucker for chocolate. especially pot-infused chocolate, how could you possibly go wrong? )

yeah, you'd think, but whoever wrote this crammed like 8 steps PER step, it's a total nightmare

but yes, i have everything i need, besides talent and motivation

[keenely]

In that case, I wouldn't mind helping you make brownies.

Although I'm sure we could also simplify the recipe. We can do it together! That way you'll be able to do it on your own, next time.

[vampirella]

( ugh, she was afraid someone was going to say something like that. she's not much of a team player, even when brownies are involved. she'd much rather glower in the general vicinity and lick the spoon. )

you know your way around a cookbook, huh? i wouldn't begin to know how to simplify a recipe, god, that makes it sound like a math problem

i'm not gonna lie, cutie, enticing pretty girls into doing it for me is sort of my mo. but maybe i'll help, since you'll be helping me figure my way around this enormously overcomplicated recipe

( the important word to note there is the "maybe"... )

[keenely]

Honestly? Baking is like chemistry. And I'm really good at chemistry.

[ bristle bristle bristle!! it's good that this is a text because she's blushing and feeling ridiculous for it ]

As long as you stick around and keep me company, I'd say that counts as helping out. I can handle working on a group project by myself, but not alone.

@cherylbombshell

[sweetwater]

There's marijuana here?

[vampirella]

the hot elf guy at the twilight rummage sale had some. i wanted coke but i'm not going to say no to a good 70s throwback

( also, she got her coke, so what does she have to complain about??? nothing, for once! )

[sweetwater]

Did he have any jingle jangle?

[vampirella]

as in christmas showtunes? idk, he was an elf, but the lord of the rings kind. not the santa kind

please tell me you don't mean an actual narcotic because jesus christ

( who would sell something with such a stupid name... )

text; @elena

[otrazhenie]

Brownies are easy. Not sure about the extra ingredient but sounds like you've already got that covered.

[vampirella]

so everyone is saying but i must point out, they're still unmade as of yet

i've got the secret ingredient, yes. do you know how to do the rest of it? i'm not going to beg, if you want pot brownies you have to do some of the work

( Carmilla has done her part, she made out with an elf. i think we can all agree that was plenty! )

[otrazhenie]

Yeah, I can handle the rest. It's worth it for something to take the edge off here, the alcohol just isn't good enough.

[ She's desperate and hoping that pot actually works on vampires, at least for a little while. ]

[vampirella]

( it works on this vampire, which is really all that matters to Carmilla. )

maybe if this place had any decent vintages, but of course it doesn't. it's bad enough we have to live in the dark, but we have to drink like savages, too?

i'm in the kitchen at the invincible. unless you prefer your own stove, but then you have to tell me where that is.

text | @kol

[unpredict]

[ a little after her post has been up… ]

Got a status on those brownies, Elvira?

[vampirella]

that depends on whether you're here to gallantly make more or just trying to mooch

[unpredict]

Gallantly mooch. What kind of gentleman would I be if I left someone to eat all the brownies by themselves?

[vampirella]

not by myself, i had to give some to the girl that helped me make them, and that was quite a sacrifice

got something to trade for them? because if it's just supposed to be from the goodness of my heart, i'm fresh out

text | @badeaux

[ultraviolents]

you managed to get a greenhouse going but not an oven?

[vampirella]

i wish, my supply is hardly so sustainable. or i guess it could be, but gardening sounds like eerily like effort, so eh

no, i got it from the pretty blue elf at the night market. he's fun, and accepts kisses as currency, you should give him a shot

( she's been selling Aavaros p hard, he should give her commission next time he's in town, damn... . . . )