networkinthenight | [text] @clickfly; I have received a fortune message [open]

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[text] @clickfly; I have received a fortune message [open]

I am Merwen, for those whom I have not yet shared meeting. I am hoping to share knowledge.

I received a message from an unliving doll. I thought it was meant to be a prediction, but it seems to be more a description of a place.

If you've got things you want to get rid of or you want to look for treasure among what others have left behind, there's a place where you can refuel in between two places where both actions can be done.

I am still recently arrived, and I do not know Beacon well enough to think where this place might be, or if this is a place I should seek out.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Her suite is still in the early stages of being personalized, but she is definitely in the process of collecting various potted plants. Some look like they came out of the greenhouse, and a few are just plants from outside she thought were interesting.]

I am glad that at least one person thinks I am not being entirely foolish. So many here are so quick to assume that violence is the only solution. It.... troubles me.

They have done violence on us. Tortured us. Sent us terrible visions that trapped us in them.

[Soldat shrugs a little, awkwardly.]

But those are the spirits with green eyes, mostly. The regular forest spirits, they're mostly reasonable. A few awful ones, like there's awful people sometimes, but. The green-eyes. They're harder to reason with. I've tried.

If they have done us violence, that is a sickness that resides in humans as well. I have seen it in Valans and I have seen it in Sharers.

[Even if most of her fellow Sharers would prefer not to admit that fact.]

If you would share with me what you can of the green-eyes, and your attempt to share speech with them, I would appreciate that.

[Settling in against the wall by the door, Soldat nods.]

They're not like the other spirits. They're stronger. They have more power. I had a friend among the spirits for a while who told me. They're afraid of the green-eyes, most of them. They control the others. Magic, telepathy, I don't know, something. I've seen them do it.

[And maybe for the first time, Merwen can hear something like anger in their voice, though it's muted. Soldat has Issues with taking away another's free will.]

They can cause hallucinations. Visions. Whatever scares you the most, they'll make you see it. They can. Shut me off. With the right vision.

[She nods as she listens. Hallucinations are a serious thing. What does she fear most? She can think of several things vying for that spot, and none are particularly nice.]

Shut you off? How?

[Because that's alarming. Very.]

[They puff out a very little breath, but not sharing a weakness could be dangerous for other people.]

There was a thing my. Former owners. Did. A Chair. It's what took my memories. When the green-eyes throw me the hallucination of being in the Chair, I just. Turn off. Go away. For an hour or two.

[They're a little terrified of when that happens. It's hard to protect people when you never know when you're just going to disassociate right out of your own head.]

You... whitetrance, your body still, your mind within? Is that what they share with you?

[At least, that's how she's interpreting 'go away' and 'turn off.']

But if your people do not know this skill, it would be difficult to find your way back from a whitetrance you did not intend to enter.

[They'd say more that their mind was just gone, than within, but it's probably close enough.]

Don't know that word, but... kind of. Can't tell what's going on around me, nothing but the. The memory of the pain. And the wipe. People can move me around, but then I come to later and don't know what happened.

[They shake their head a little. This isn't really the point.]

There was someone else here before. Like you. Wanted to be friends with the green-eyes. I went with him when he tried. It didn't. Go well.

I see. What happened?

[Because that is very important to know.]

They didn't reply to us, and they tried to tear us apart. I don't know if that was because they wanted metal in particular-- they focused on my arm, and my friend. He was all made of metal. Or if they were trying in their way to keep us with them. Or if they were just violent.

[They've gone over and over that event in their mind, picking it apart, particularly after finding out about the experiments done on the green-eyes in the Helix station.]

They weren't angry. I am pretty sure of that. But they either didn't understand, or didn't want to understand, and they don't respect our safety or pain.

[Her lips thin. That's not surprising, but it is discouraging.

Also, a person made of metal. She's encountered that before and she DOESN'T LIKE IT but that's beside the point right now.]

That actually gives me hope. If they were actively sharing anger, then that is harder to overcome than mere ignorance or apathy.

[You're talking to a dude with a metal arm, Merwen, sometimes metal just happens. They look sidelong at her with some concern.]

If you want to talk to them. Give me time to learn things about them from Ambassador. They might have a dialect that we can learn that will make them understand us better. And promise me. Promise you will not go alone. Please.

[There are metal arms, and then there's metal brains.]

If you could learnshare that, it would be very useful, I think.

I won't seek them out yet, I promise. Not on purpose. If they come to me, though, then I will witness them. Do you understand that I must do this, Soldat? I could never share harm with them.

[Not all metal brains are awful, either. Soldat is still sad about losing Daylight.

They'll be sad about losing Merwen, too, they think. So they nod wearily, shoulders a little slumped.]

Can I ask that if they don't seem interested in sharing good things, that you run instead of letting them. Share harm with you?

[She closes her eyes a moment, and gives a long sigh. She doesn't really want to commit to any particular promises at this point, but this is clearly important.]

All right. I will try.

[The slump gets more pronounced, this time with relief.]

Thank you. Not everyone who dies, comes back. And I'd hate to lose you, Merwen.

[She smiles, sort of sadly.]

I don't share fear of my own death, not here, not when I'm already dead and caught here instead of moving on. We never truly lose the ones we love, even if we grieve for the loss of a soul in the shape we know. The soul is more permanent than that.

But I am also not in a hurry to meet my death, even if I don't fear it.

[Considering all the people Soldat has lost and still isn't particularly great at accepting, that feels a little hollow, but they can focus on the important part: that she's not in a hurry to die again.]

Good. I had to learn that, myself. I died twice and people were very, very upset, so I have to try not to do that again. It might happen, because my job is to protect people. But I have to try.

Soldat.

[She looks squarely at him.]

I don't want you ever to hasten death in my defence. If I am to promise not to hasten my own death, I would ask that you share your own promise in return.

[They look momentarily bereft at the question. There's still a part of them that feels like dealing death (in the protection of others, now, but still) is the only thing they're really good for.

It's a brief flicker of expression, though, before they sigh and just look vaguely resigned, instead.]

I will try. Same as you. But if something is trying to kill people right in front of me, I'm. Gonna make sure they don't do that. I can't not. It's hard-wired.

That is the struggle of all selfnamers, Soldat. I trust you to try, as I try not to be impatient.

[But honestly, she's feeling pretty reassured by the whole conversation.]

[They attempt a little joke:]

Should I be called Soldat the one who isn't allowed to die again?

[It sounds kind of sad, rather than light, but it's an attempt.]

[She smiles.]

I wouldn't complain, but try to outlive the first name you gave yourself before you take on anymore.

[They pause at the idea, looking maybe a little startled by it.]

Wasn't planning on changing it again, really... I don't know what else I'd call myself. I can't. Hear my old one anymore.

[(Y'do still freak out a little at this one, champ. Just the once. Yeah, well, it's still somethin' to think about.)]

[She shakes her head, still smiling.]

I know. No one is asking you to change anything.

[text] @clickfly; I have received a fortune message [open]

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