voice; @hicks

[preseance]

( when he speaks his voice is soft an' easy, mild-mannered as all get-out, with an alabama accent that kicks like a mule to the head besides. he has the air of someone well-used to wieldin' some manner of authority, albeit in another fashion in a faraway place from this. )

For those of you I ain't met, name's Eugene Hicks, an' I'm one of the medics here in Beacon. If'n anybody finds themselves in want of food or company, Sundays me an' a few others are layin' out a spread at the Church. Anybody's welcome, all I ask is no fightin' under the Lord's roof. If'n you felt like bringin' a dish of your own to share, it'd be appreciated. ( he pauses, an' in a lighter tone obviously aimed to jest, ) First person to complain about my Ma's fried tomatoes or the lack of ice cream with the pie will be shown the door, no exceptions.

( it ain't a video post, but he ducks his head all the same. there's a slight jangle of his dog-tags. )

And, ah. Given that the El-Tee ( 'LT', short for lieutenant ) found a village across the river, Rastus seemed to think I ought to maybe work at buildin' a bridge so's we can all access whatever resources might be on the other side without any measure of difficulty. I can do carpentry all right, but if anyone can lend a hand it'd be appreciated. Apparently there's a creature in the river fixin' to drag folks under, so please mind yourselves if'n you're of a mind to get close.

That's all. Look after yourselves an' have a pleasant evenin'.

Comments

[evocation]

I've never eaten anything but cheese and mayo, doncha know?

[It is awful.]

[preseance]

( give him a sec, he actually just busts up laughin'. it's a sort of coughing, wheezing laugh that's truncated by a mighty 'bout of coughing altogether too soon, but it's genuine enough for all'a that. )

Christ o'Lordy, I take that back. Please, K, don't ever do that again. You're fine bein' a New Yorker.

[evocation]

[Oh. He definitely just called her K, and it makes her heart ache with an odd mix of fondness and homesickness. Still, the smile leaks into her voice when she responds.]

Want me to try yours next?

[preseance]

An' have you massacre my good Alabamian name? No ma'am, we will not be doin' that this evenin'. I've got too much pride in my home state.

[evocation]

Come on, Genie, please? Fair's fair.

voice - > text

[preseance]

( it's reggie's nickname on her lips that gets him. it happens all in a rush, breath bein' pushed outta his lungs like the very first time he stepped out into the whippin' air off a c-47 an' had the rush of it steal the oxygen right outta his chest.

he can't breathe. that's the thing he chooses to focus on. rationally, he knows his body needs it, but he can't make it happen. it's like watchin' himself drown behind some clear partition, no command or control over his body while he pounds on the glass.

reggie died just before he jumped into gela after north africa. an' there ain't been a minute, not one goddamn one in this war where he could stop an' let himself mourn him. because how can you mourn a man that haunts your every step? knows all the old jokes you used to make, is there on your wakin' an' sleepin' hour? it'd've wrecked reggie to see him hurtin' over it an' so he didn't. he buried it.

but buried things have a way of turnin' up when you least expect 'em. thank the lord he didn't turn the mic on to reply, because the shuddering gasp he hauls into his mouth would give him away.

he just. don't reply a spell. can't. he's glad he'd made this post off in the woods beneath an ol' tree with his tablet on his lap, because it makes it that much easier to sit in the still an' silent dark an' tip his head back against the tree an' just.

an' just cry. sobs wrack him an' soon he's just huggin' his knees in the dark tryin' to rub his eyes an' not makin' much headway against the outpourin' of emotion.

he knows he ought to say somethin'. kyna's perceptive an' she'll know somethin's off. the longer he leaves it the worse it'll get. so he fusses with the voice to text app until he can get a decent text off to her, )

Dinner's at 1800. Didn't mention that part.

private

[evocation]

[Somehow, the text makes it worse. She's fucked up, she thinks, but she's not sure how.]

hey, are you okay?
what's wrong?

[preseance]

( an' it's so, so selfish to do this to her, but he just. he needs time. a moment to himself that no one else can touch. he's always been a man of solitude. )

I'm all right, Kyna, just a bit preoccupied with something right now.

I'll meet you at the Church, okay?

[evocation]

[That's an absolute lie, and she clocks it for one the second she reads the text. They haven't lied to each other before, have they? It twists like a knife, and she tells herself it shouldn't. They've known each other three weeks. That's nothing. It's a stupid thing to feel hurt by, but here she is, feeling it anyway.

For a moment, she considers just not responding, but then she forces herself to.]

okay
sorry
about whatever it was i said

[preseance]

( and lord help him, he thinks about leaving it at that. he really does. he ain't one to invite other folks to be party to his misery. his ma died an' the first thing he did was disappear into the woods for hours until ysobel came to drag him home. she'd reprimanded him for it, tellin' him he ought to be ashamed of himself for leavin' his brothers alone with no ma an' no older brother to soften the blow.

he's ashamed now. it's why he, at length, clicks the audio back on. his voice is rough, but it could just be the withdrawal. )

You didn't do anythin' wrong, Kyna. I'm sorry for makin' you think as much. It just. ( a bit of an inhale. it wobbles a bit, breath hitchin' hard on old breaks to his ribs that never healed quite right. ) 'Genie'. Reggie used to call me that. Guess it hit harder than I was expectin' it to.

[evocation]

[Kyna hesitates, then switches back to audio herself, her voice quiet and hesitant.]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I wasn't trying to make you upset. I don't have to call you that, I just... Um.

[Deep breaths, Kyna. No crying. That's not going to help this.]

My two best friends back home are the only ones who ever call me K. I thought it would be... Nice. You know. Familiar?

[preseance]

( he's silent a spell himself. then, )

I know that, Kyna. Can't imagine a situation where you'd try an' upset me on purpose, it ain't on you to apologize for how I react to somethin' meant kindly.

( he knows full well that he reaches for the familiarity too. bereft of the easy family of love company he's fallen in with her an' wash easy as breathin'.

he takes a breath. holds up one hand, an' is mollified some that it holds steady in the darkness. )

If you set out due west away from the bonfire, about sixty yards after the ring of light fades off I'm out in the woods. But you should, ah, tell Wash where you're goin' in case we get eaten by a spirit bear or somethin'.

[evocation]

Okay, I'll tell him.

[So Kyna sends off a text and then heads for Gene's spot, trying not to feel too anxious. She's all fired up now, nerves buzzing, and she can't pinpoint why. That nervousness is palpable when she finds him, arrival heralded by the glow of her lantern.]

Hey.

[preseance]

( his lantern casts a soft golden light in a halo around them, melting into a warm green where the pale blue of hers comes up against it like an ocean tide rolls against a beach. it's a soothing colour, settling in that way that soothes the soul an' eases the mind, an' he finds he's already better for it by that alone. he holds his hand out for her, intendin' to pull her down beside him on the moss. )

Didn't mean t'worry you, sweetheart. You okay?

[evocation]

[Kyna allows herself to be tugged down, settling against him. She's not really sure if she's okay. There's a tightness in her throat she can't explain, but—]

Don't start that. Are you okay?

[preseance]

As I ever am.

( he sat out here long enough to make his peace with it. the only sign he's been cryin' is the redness to his eyes an' the fact he's still a bit congested. he knows it's not quite an answer, an' so after a moment he amends; )

Ain't ever had anythin' hit me like that. Hard to mourn a man when you spend most'a your wakin' hours with his ghost, you know? ( he glances down at where he ain't let go of her hand yet, an' his fingers flex. ) I just miss him, is all.

[evocation]

[She nods at that, squeezing his hand gently.]

It must be hard for you. You must get to say goodbye to most people.

[preseance]

Mostly, yeah. An' I know I'm lucky in that regard, because it's Hell an' gone more than most people get.

( it hurts, too, thinkin' about reggie comin' back from scoutin' the salm an' findin' him dead. lord. he hopes that his pa at least hears it from reggie an' not one of those goddamn letters.

soft, )

Grief's a funny thing, ain't it.

[evocation]

[Kyna nods at that, ducking her head when she feels tears prickling the back of her eyes. God. She was supposed to get here and keep it together, but suddenly she's not sure she's going to manage it.]

I'm not really good at it. Grieving.

[preseance]

Reckon most folks don't want it to be a specialty of theirs.

( he wraps his arm around her, leans against her, cheek pressed to the crown of her hair. )

Now you gonna tell me what's goin' on with you?

[evocation]

Nothing. I don't know.

[It's not really intended as a lie so much as it is stalling, because she doesn't really know where to start.]

How come every time we start talking about your problems we end up talking about me instead?

[preseance]

( a huff of amusement eases its way past the too-tight confines of his chest. )

I'm a man from a bygone era, Kyna, you really think I'm all that good at talkin' at length about my problems?

( never let it be said he ain't self-aware. )

[evocation]

[That gets her to smile, a bit tremulous.]

Okay, fine. I'll share, grandpa.

[She knows the joke falls flat because of the strain in her voice, but she goes on talking as if it didn't.]

You know those friends I told you about before? The ones who call me K? I've been trying not to think about them, but after that stupid post, I just...

[Deep breathes, Kyna.]

I just keep thinking they would have handled it so much better, you know? Nico would have, too. I've always been the one blasts shit with magic, not the leader or the diplomat, and now I can't stop thinking about how much I need them and how I'll never see them again, and...

[It comes out all in a rush, like once she starts she can't stop, and then she cuts herself off with a choked sob. Kyna hunches down and covers her mouth, as though that will somehow hide the slip. Maybe if she stops talking, she won't start crying in earnest.]

[preseance]

( something in his expression cracks, an' it's all he can do to just wrap his arm around her an' try to instill some measure of calm in her by the proximity of warmth and touch. maybe this would'a been easier if he'd asked her to bring wash along, too. he rubs her back gently, the second time in as many weeks as they've wound up like this. somethin' in the goddamn water.

or, more likely, in the darkness. he knows it's wearin' on him. it's bound to be worse for someone who's whole identity is bound up in bright light an' burning fire. )

Ain't nothin' that says you won't see them again somehow, huh? We weren't accountin' for this world when we passed on, who's to say what comes after this? Or the next one after that, an' the next? We can't be sure of anythin', goin' forward. Hold to that. Souls have a way of findin' each other in the dark.

( askin' someone to have faith is a lot, especially given where they are an' how they got here, but. it's what he's got. he presses a soft kiss against the crown of her hair. )

An' don't you worry none about how things went down. You did your best, an' that's all anyone can ask for. You'd be too much to handle if you were a perfect diplomat on top'a everythin' else you've got goin' on. ( don't make him extol your virtues, kyna, he'll do it in spades. but his tone is gently humorous anyhow. ) Then folks'd be nothin' but jealous. It'd get old right quick.

[evocation]

[Kyna snorts, her tone wry and disbelieving.]

I'm not as good at things as you think I am. I'm good at magic, but even that's fucked up here. And I'm not good at...

[She takes in a shuddering breath, half a sob, wondering if she should even keep going, or if what she wants to say is going to make any sense.]

I'm not good without people, you know? I fuck up all the time and Tucker and Harlan always had a way of... I don't know. Of making me better.

[And Wash does too, yes, but in a different way.]