first experiment; 9:53 PM

[originallutece]

For our more vampiric population, I come to you with a solution for your dietary problems.

I've invented artificial blood. A substance you can consume without harming others, but that will sustain you much as food and water. I owe a debt to Elena for helping me test them.

Unfortunately, it cannot yet be used in a medical sense-- for blood transplants, which are, by the by, a very important part of medical knowledge, which makes up the second part of this announcement.

If you do not know your blood type, come see me, and I can at least determine it. Blood types are a vital bit of information in a place where one routinely gets cut to bits. Transfusing blood-- that is, the act of giving one's blood to another-- can save a life in many cases. However, if the wrong sorts of blood interact, the result can be deadly.

Many of you do not know your blood type. This will, inevitably, come back to bite you.

So. I suggest you come by my lab within the next few days and find out, before you nearly die of an injury, manage to make it back to town, and then die of your original blood sensing the invader and killing off the cells that came to theoretically heal you. What a horrible, ironic death that would be.

Comments

private;

[originallutece]

Plasma. White and red blood cells.

Are you a scientist or a customer?

[vampirella]

thank god. i was worried you'd say soy.

( she talks a big game, she definitely did drink soy blood in canon. )

customer implies you're planning to charge. gotta say vampires are not the smartest group to try and extort, if that's the angle you're going for.

[originallutece]

Yes, a novel idea: charging people for their food. What a capitalist I am, to come up with this scheme.

As it happens, I've no intention of charging you-- but free or not, you're still a customer. And I like to keep track of who comes and goes.

[vampirella]

oh please. don't pretend like a blood substitute is on the same level as a loaf of bread. it's admirable to provide an alternative, less so if you try and knuckle a population by their reliance of your product. especially the sad sacks that hate themselves so much they can't drink from the vein.

of course you do. ( who doesn't like keeping track of vampires? all the better for rounding them up! she's liking outing herself less and less to this lady, but it's really too late now. )

i take it you've got a vampire population here. that's handy, considering it is our preferred level of lighting.

[originallutece]

How is it not?

[FOCUSING ON ONE THING AT A TIME.]

Prove your equation. How is a loaf of bread not equal to what I'm offering you?

[vampirella]

this is a super dumb argument and you seem smart enough to know that.

bread you can pick up off the shelf and easily consume without maiming anyone. unless you're really shitty at cutting, and that's more of a personal problem than an actual correlation.

[originallutece]

Yes, no one was questioning the inherent deadly value of a loaf of bread.

But both blood and bread-- or food, it isn't a carb-based proposal-- come from the same origin. Both require labor on the part of others, whether acting as, say, farmer or baker, or donor; both necessitate a certain inherent act of labor and, presumably, consent.

[But this is a moot point, she just likes to argue.]

Regardless. The only thing you need to do is stop by my lab.

[vampirella]

that’s the kicker, right? plenty of vampires don’t ask nicely for a snack. and if you can’t see why extorting the ones desperate enough to not hurt anybody that they would pay any price you set is shitty, i don’t have the time or patience to explain it to you.

besides, you said yourself you’re not charging, so it’s immaterial.

( ugh, she feels gross even after like three seconds of being a vampire rights activist. )

sure. i’ll keep you in mind if i ever get peckish.

( there’s certainly a less ominous way to put that, but she’s pissy and doesn’t care. )