networkinthenight | [text] @helsing; I've always liked to play with fire [open]

[Okay, this is even more uncomfortable. Embarrassing, even. The Soldier looks away, flattening its expression back down, as if that will help prevent more outbursts like that. A handful of people know about the memory malfunctions. Nobody knows about that.

(Well, now somebody does. Fuck you. Yeah, not gonna happen, pal.)]

That just. Happens sometimes. Mostly it keeps to the back of my head, but once in a while it takes over my mouth.

[That sounds. Really bad. The Soldier is probably certifiably nuts. Then again, given the torture and the murder and the constant literal brain-scrambling, that's probably not that surprising. It kind of wants to just flee, now. This is so embarrassing.]

[ There's a lot to unpack in what he's just said and she's not entirely sure she understands it any better now that he's explained it. Scarlett working hard to keep her features slack, her expression casually neutral as she rolls that over in her head.

She's no psych. She doesn't know shit about multiple personalities, beyond TV and movies and yet it would be easy to dismiss this as that if it weren't for the other little things.

She can see his discomfort written plain as day on his face, however. That more than anything keeping Scarlett from voicing one of the million questions going through her mind. She can't say that it was strictly normal, even by her standards but then she had shared dreams with an ancient vampire so... She couldn't exactly judge what was normal these days. ]

Okay. [ There's a casual acceptance in the way she says it. No trace of judgment or amusement in her tone. Scarlett's hand slowly dropping back to her side as she allows him a moment to process. ]

[The Soldier doesn't immediately resume its work, still looking to one side. Watching her reaction out of the corner of its eye, measuring the tone of her voice. All of it reads "carefully controlled" which could mean a lot of things, most of them not great.. (If you fucked this up... It'll be fine.) Not even the chatty presence sounds sure about that.

Reassurance might help.]

It isn't dangerous. Like the memory malfunctions. Just annoying. And not very respectful.

[(I'm respectful! Calling women "doll" isn't respectful, asshole. Since when?)]

The Doll thing? [ A smile lights upon her lips at that, a wry amusement dancing in her eyes and she lifts her good shoulder in a shrug. At least not particularly offended by it. ]

I've been called worse. [ Granted, they were usually intended to be so.

Something in her ability to be amused by it breaks some of the unspoken tension, those questions still bubbling beneath the surface but just about everyone she goes to say, sounds worst than the one before it. ]

Do you know... what it is?

[(See? I fucking told you, it's fine.)

The Soldier hesitates a moment more, then inches back over to finish tying off her bandage, at least. No need to leave it hanging if she's not going to be upset or angry or... whatever reaction one might have to finding out the not-a-person hears voices (well, a voice, anyway) and sometimes sounds like it's American.]

I don't know. Neither does it. It's just. There. There are some things it knows that I don't, like what dreams are.

[Yes, the Soldier hadn't remembered what dreaming was. Yes, it feels a little dumb. But to be fair, not a person. It hadn't dreamed in decades.]

And some things I know that it doesn't, like "doll" not being current slang. ... we argue a lot.

[ Upset or angry would hardly be the words for it. Bewildered? Sure, it was hard not to be but there wasn't much about their interactions to date that hadn't been that and then some. If she hadn't told him to fuck off after shooting her? She was hardly going to do it over this. ]

You argue? [ Okay. This is fine. Unexpected but, fine. ] So what like, you and he talk to each other?

[ So, bewildering was taking a turn towards unhinged but she still didn't think he was crazy. Fucked up by somebody or something? Definitely, but he was more present than he was not. ]

Does he know the memories or are they just yours?

It talks a lot. Sometimes I talk back, sure. Usually just to tell it to shut up.

[(Yeah, you're an asshole. Takes one to know one. Watch it, you're gonna start soundin' like me, pal.) The Soldier finishes her bandage and steps back again, wishing that had taken longer.

Her second question earns a single sharp headshake.]

I don't know what you mean.

The - Memory malfunction... [ She doesn't like that word. It was a memory - a bad one sure, but that didn't make it a malfunction. ] Did he - it?

[ Again it's clear she doesn't like something. This time referring to the entity, whatever it was, as an It rather than a He. ]

Did they understand what was happening to you when it happened. Like, did they try to stop you from killing me?

"He's" fine, doll.

[Jesus, twice in one conversation. (Cut it out. She's my friend, not yours. *incredulous laughter*) The Soldier doesn't hit itself, this time, just rubs at its eyes again with the heel of its flesh palm with a groan that sounds positively embarrassed.]

Okay, it's a "he". Fine. I don't care.

[The Soldier takes a slow, shuddery breath, face still half-hidden by its hand, and finally answers the question.]

It-- he-- wasn't. Around much. When I was trying to kill you. It was. He was. Kind of in the distance. I couldn't hear it. Him. Until you started acting not like a Widow. Then it told me... told me... to snap out of it? I think. I was kind of freaking out at the time.

[ In spite of herself, she can't help the hint of a smile that comes at that reply. She might not get what's happening here but she can't say she's put off by the other presence either. Maybe because there's something familiar in that accent. A touch more warmth in his tone when he rises to the surface.

Maybe it's just because of the obvious embarrassment from Tinman that also humanizes him in a way she's rarely seen so far. ]

So... He tried to help. [ To do the right thing, which if nothing else, was curious. ] Could be worse things to share a head space with.

[ Trust her on that one. ]

[Peeking out past its hand at her, the Soldier scowls. Just a little.]

You don't have it in your head all the time. It's. He's. Obnoxious.

[C'mon, you don't mean that. I really fucking do. I do try to help, though, and you now it. .... ) The Soldier can't even dignify that with an internal response. External, though:]

But sure. It could be worse. He's an asshole but he's not. Cruel.

[If it could choose between obnoxious and cruel, it knows what it would go with. Having a literal voice in its head reminding it of legitimately horrible things that it had done and could be doing at any given moment would be... a lot worse than non-violent heckling, insistent prodding, and dumb opinions.]

I used to get these... really fucked up dreams.

[ She still did, only they were different now. They weren't the Elders dreams, they were her own nightmares. ]

Creepy Vampire shit.... only they weren't really dreams I guess. Just the way this asshole would speak to me.

[ God, why the hell is she telling him this? Its one of those things she doesn't talk about, not even with Raylan and he'd shared a room with her here. ]

Most people would have thought I was nuts... but it's just the way things were. [ Scarlett's own strange way of trying to reassure him that he doesn't need to be embarrassed. ]

[Proof that they're likely going to keep getting along just fine: that is, in fact, way more comforting than it probably should be. She demonstrating that doesn't think the Soldier's crazy, she's experienced something similar (and probably worse), and she's actually sharing something that's probably hard to share. That's... kind of her. It slowly puts down its hand again, shoulders going a little less tense.]

So you had one, too. Only yours wasn't just friendly but obnoxious.

[It sighs just a little.]

You're the only one who knows about it. Him.

[That's so hard to wrap its mind around. That there's something in its head with enough actual personhood for a gender. Weird. Still, it feels like it has to warn her:]

He might keep doing. This. Coming out and bothering you. No one else is. Safe.

Worst kind of asshole but, what can you do, right? [ Scarlett shooting for that light and easy tone but the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. The tightness of her mouth is something of a giveaway.

There's a lot she's not telling him. Like just how bad the dreams could be. That the Elder got off on dredging up her worst memories, forcing her to relive them before breaking through to torment her. He couldn't reach her here and that helped for the most part, but the dreams? He'd brought those images to the surface, manipulated them for his own entertainment but it was her own head fucking with her now. No more conversations, just nightmares. ]

He doesn't bother me. [ Telling him the truth. ] Though it does kinda suck that I can't really punch him in the face if he pisses me off.

[And right now? The Soldier is absolutely not going to push her about it. It can imagine the worst case scenarios, particularly now that it has experienced its own first nightmare(s), and since it knows how hard it is for Scarlett to talk about shit like that, it's not going to ask about details at the moment. Maybe someday later.

Instead it gives her half a smile.]

Yeah, I know. I'll try to keep him from pissing you off.

[(Not actually gonna try and piss her off, anyway. Sure. It just kind of happens sometimes that people get pissed off around you. Not because I'm trying. Most of the time. I think.) It's nice to be reminded that the chatty guy also has memory malfunctions.]

[ She lets out a snort of laughter. Shaking her head as she runs her fingers through her hair. ]

Yeah, good luck with that. [ She's painfully aware of how quick her temper is. She's never had much reason to keep it in check before. It's not like she'd ever been around people for extended periods of time. She'd been alone for far more years than just The Rising.

Scarlett gives an experimental shift of her shoulder, grimacing slightly yet still feeling better for having been cleaned and redressed.

The words that come next need to be pried past her lips, but they do come eventually.]

Thanks. [ Gruff as always. ] For... ya know. This. [ Motioning vaguely with her hand. ]

[As if it weren't a struggle for her, the Soldier responds simply and easily,]

You're welcome.

[It steps back, at least relatively pleased at its work. But it doesn't want to leave yet. What else can it do.

(Oh. Hey. New skill, remember? Oh! Yeah! Good idea, thanks.) The Soldier looks back at her face-- still not quite her eyes, it's not good at that, but definitely her face.]

Have you eaten?

[ She fully expected him to take his leave now that she'd allowed him to look at her wound. The question tipping Scarlett momentarily off balance before she can seem to process and move forward. ]

No? [ Not even trying to mask the uncertainty in her tone. ] I'm not much of a cook, though. [ Scarlett he doesn't expect you to cook, sheesh.

She could though, technically, it just wasn't the kind of food most people would enjoy. Scarlett was in her element surviving in the wilds. She knew everything there was to know about survivalist cooking but regular old cooking, especially for other people? Before The Rising she was more of a meat and potatoes kind of person - she got that from Charles Harker. After? You learned not to be fussy. Here... Food was better when Raylan was around. ]

[The Soldier smiles. Not a half-smile or a sad smile, a real one.]

I learned how. I'll make you something.

[It only knows how to make like, two things so far, but it's found one of those things is both excellent and something of a comfort meal.

Before she can say yes or no, it heads out the door for the Invincible kitchen. She can come with, or wait until it comes back. Either is acceptable.]

[ It's the kind of smile that sees one of her own spilling over her lips. The sensation strange despite the fact that she feels lighter for it. ]

You're gonna cook for me.

[ It's the most painfully normal thing that she's experienced in this place and it's coming from the last person she would have expected it from a week ago. Now? it actually feels kind of good. ]

Well alright then.

[ Chuckling softly as he starts to move towards the door. Allowing him to go in search of whatever he needs as she takes a moment to clean up after her dressing change. ]

[About fifteen minutes later, the Soldier returns with two plates and a single glass of water. Each plate has two-- wait for it-- grilled cheese sandwiches on it. There's ham on of each of the sandwiches and spinach on the other, between two thick slices of cheese. The Soldier looks inordinately proud of itself for knowing how to cook, even if it's something simple like this.

It offers one plate to Scarlett and sets the glass of water on the table next to her.

Of course it made itself food while it was down there, too. It's always hungry.]

[ The scent hits her first, making her stomach growl and filling her with a sense of nostalgia. The soft smile that touches Scarlett's lips, doing so involuntarily as she catches sight of the grilled cheese sandwiches on the plates. A memory pushes through the quagmire of dark memories to dance at the forefront of her mind. Scarlett barely tall enough to see over the countertop as her mother fixed lunch. ]

I haven't had one of these in - [ - too long. Scarlett trying to shake her head of the memory. The brunette catching herself in that smile and trying to tamp it down a little.

Her gaze flickers back to Tinman, a flicker of indescribable emotion flickering in her eyes before she pointedly looks back at the sandwiches. ] Thanks.

Just eat.

[But it looks pleased at the thanks, and at her expression. Additional bonuses of learning how to cook: making a friend(?) happier on top of healthier. It settles on the floor by the bed, with its own plate on its knee.]

I'm sure going to.

Scarlett reaches for half of a sandwich, about to take a bite when her gaze is drawn to the floor. Brows knitting together as the corners of her eyes crease with confusion.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Her head cocked to one side as she reaches across the table and raps her knuckles against the heavy wood. "You can eat with me you know."

The Soldier pauses, about to pick up its own sandwich, and blinks at her blankly for a moment until her statement sinks in.

Oh. Right. "Sorry. I didn't even. Think about that." It picks itself up with only a little reluctance, and moves over to the second chair. It hesitates for a good ten seconds before actually sits down, but sit down it does.

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kungfuey - 2019-10-12 09:55 (UTC) - Expand