networkinthenight | [newspaper] WEEKLY BULLETIN [open]

WEEKLY BULLETIN

announcements

Weather: S'allite? S'allite. It's gonna be allite temperature wise most of the week, but hope you aren't afraid of thunderstorms! Because. That's what's coming. Thunder. And rain, obviously, not just dry thunder. Hopefully it'll drown out those rats, eh?

There's a new sign over in the church! That's not a metaphor, there really is a sign hanging. Maybe you should pay it mind. Maybe you should stop messing with whomstever is living beneath it. 

Those rats are super gross, huh? Oh, well. At least some of you learned something: those rats act super weird when they're sliced open. Well, not act-act, haha, they're dead, but. Their bodies act weird. Whatever! 

Ice cream was methodically tasted and reviewed. You're the real heroes, guys.

SOMEBODY AND THE RIVER SPIRIT, LYING IN A RIVER, E-X-C-H-A-N-G-I-N-G G-I-F-T-S. This worked better in my head a few minutes ago. Also, somewhat related, now there's spam in the river. Gross.

classifieds
Do you always wish you could do something with your life? Maybe learn a sport? Learn defensiveness? Now you can do BOTH!!!! Come learn how to FENCE, finally do something with your life now that you're undead. Contact Jean-Pierre Polnareff for details.

If you wish to submit an advertisement, please drop them by the post office

obituaries

Again, we're all really proud of you for not dying. We know it's a lot to ask.

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