AUDIO. @VEGEMIGHT; OPEN.

[magnitudes]

( Hello there, darkness dwellers. Is this a new voice you here? It sure is, lucky you. The accent is Australian, broad almost to the point of cliche, and there's something oddly lackadaisical about it, given the... well. The everything, really. )

So, not being funny, but has anyone, I dunno... fallen off the ferry and gotten a bit cuddly with some mysterious glowy, kinda ethereal-seeming tentacles?

Asking for a friend.

Comments

[magnitudes]

Well, my friend is a fucking impulsive moron who ignores warnings being given to her, even when it's being given by very intense women with strong opinions.

( Big ups, Miriam Maisel: you were right. Sarissa may never admit it directly. )

And it wasn't like my friend was trying to go near the water, she just saw something glowing and weird and was trying to get a better look.

So... like... bikini season. Not a thing here, I guess?

[webshoots]

Anecdotally speaking, those are the warnings you should almost always be listening to.

I don't have the curves for a bikini, but I'm definitely not someone to judge anyone else's sartorial desires — but water-based activities? Yeah, there's a little bit of judging, and this is coming from someone who's ended up in the East River an embarrassing amount of times for someone that hates swimming.

[magnitudes]

Yeah, I know.

( There's something distinctly childish with how she says it - if it was possible to verbally scuff a heel against the ground, that was how that sounded. )

Hey, if you want to wear a bikini, that's your choice. Don't let anyone tell you what you can't wear. Curves be damned.

( It's nice to have a moment of being able to be a little more flippant and silly amongst... okay, already a lot of her being flippant and silly, but in theory she should be being serious, so like... whatever. )

[webshoots]

Hey, I'm not saying you don't. Just pass the message on. [ a beat. ] You okay, though? Outside of the multiple-limbed, boney hugs.

—Maybe not in winter, but if we're both still here when summer hits, just remember: you only have yourself to blame.

[magnitudes]

As an example of human perfection, I'm always okay.

( Does that make sense? No.
Does it matter? No. )

I feel like a gauntlet was just thrown down. Is that what just happened?

[webshoots]

[ it may not make much sense, but it does earn a snort of laughter. ]

Got it. [ breath of a pause, then— ] Oh, definitely, but I think this where I point out: you started it.

sorry for the slow, I was totally wiped out by work this week :'|

[magnitudes]

Me? Startin' shit?

That doesn't sound like me.

OH HEY don't worry about it!

[webshoots]

[ that gets another laugh, and— ]

Do you want to say that again, but slower, and maybe I'll believe you? [ beat. ] I'm Peter, by the way.

how very dare, I will worry with the fire of a thousand suns!!!

[magnitudes]

Oh, no, see 'cause Australians, we don't talk real slow. Against our nature.

( Is it? Who knows. )

Peter, hi. I'm Sarissa.

oh well. okay, carry on then...... WHO AM I TO INTERRUPT

[webshoots]

[ there's a soft noise that might be a huh. is it true? who knows indeed, certainly not peter, because he doesn't know any australians. ]

Shouldn't you be used to weird, terrifying creatures wanting to kill you in questionable and insidious ways?

[ IS THAT WHY YOU'RE DEAD SARISSA. BECAUSE AUSTRALIA. ]

well, quite

[magnitudes]

( She sighs, dramatically. )

Look, my future-in-laws were going to be American, and what could be more terrifying than that?

( But she makes a thoughtful sound. )

I mean, there's risks, but you learn the tricks, you know?

[webshoots]

What, American or the general concept of in-laws? [ there's no hiding this queens accent, alright. ] I'd say I'm offended, but I've been there with the American almost-in-laws and I have never been more terrified in my life. [ beat. ] That includes being here, by the way, so — yeah, guess you do learn tricks. [ pause. ] But I should probably clarify that the closest I've been to Australia is Canada, and I'm told that's really not the same.

[magnitudes]

I mean, do I have to pick just one?

( She grins, and it's apparent in her voice. )

Moreso the in-law bit, but yeah. And... this might be a painful realisation, but depending whereabouts in Canada, you mighta been closer in New York.

[webshoots]

[ he laughs. ]

I mean, it is kind of cheating — in-laws are, what, a universally terrifying concept, even when they've been your neighbour your entire life... [ beat; an aside, more to himself than to sarissa: ] Or is that especially when? [ it's that second one when you manage to miss the fucking wedding, HEY. ]

Ordinarily I'd say that we Americans have very carefully cultivated our international image, kind of like — a de...fence mechanism? [ beat. ] You know what, I'm going to quit while I'm ahead because honestly, I've only left New York about three times. [ not entirely true, but whatever. ] Jersey's basically a foreign country and I can only apologise for everything that comes from there, and I'm still not unconvinced that Newark shouldn't be a quarantine zone.

—Geographically, sure. Spiritually? Jury's out.