[Audio] @ SuprNerd - open

[moderatelymaladjusted]

[The first few seconds of the recording is just Quentin breathing, fast and shaky at first and just before he speaks, the breathing evens out. The whole speech will be said fast and jerky, like the words are just spilling out without thought.]

What the hell? I can't be the only one who's thinking this, but just what the fucking hell? What the hell just happened? This place, oh shit, this place just-- did any of you see things? Hear things? Fucking feel things? And why? Just, why? I thought we were here to help, to find a way to solve this-- this whole puzzle and suddenly there's something here that made me think I was losing--? That's just-- it was just to fuck with all of us?

What the hell? That's what I want to know - just, what the hell? Is this hell? Is that why?

So, if you're listening to this, lady in the lighthouse? Fuck you! Seriously. Fuck. You.

Also, someone took my hoodie and I need that, so please bring it back. Thanks.

Comments

[moderatelymaladjusted]

It hasn't been a total loss. You said it was one way to look at it - what's the other way?

[pearlstrings]

I'm not averse to having the discussion.

But all things considered, I'm not sure you're in a good place for the conversation.


I mean that as an observation, not an accusation.

[moderatelymaladjusted]

You don't think I'm in a good place? Right. Because you seem like someone who'd know so much about that.

You should say that, then, and not the other thing.

[pearlstrings]

You did open by shouting fuck five times. How well I know you on a personal level is irrelevant, the response wasn't opaque.


But fine. Have it your way.

Why have you decided to hold the lighthouse keeper responsible?

[moderatelymaladjusted]

I had a lot of fucks to give. Who the hell doesn't, after all this shit?

She knew. She knew something like this might happen, and she didn't stop it. She controls everything here, and she didn't stop it. That's why.

[pearlstrings]

She's here for Beacon and the spirits.

It isn't her job to protect us from ourselves.

[moderatelymaladjusted]

That wasn't myself, that was something else entirely? Also, how do you that? Because she told you? Like she's been telling all of us, and she still knew about it. What else isn't she telling us?

[pearlstrings]

[This is the response he expected and it's a large part of why Bruce had declined to open with the discussion entirely. There is little more frightening than one's past mistakes, the misery of memory- and from the observations he's made, the people he's seen and heard? These hallucinations are personal.

It's very human reaction, to blame someone else for your pain.
But it won't help. It won't change anything at all.]


The hands, yes. Something else entirely.

But what you saw or heard?

Those were your ghosts. She can't stop your past from haunting you.
They're your fears and your responsibility.

[moderatelymaladjusted]

They ARE my ghosts, yeah! And they will always be MINE! That doesn't mean I want them thrown in my face, all the fucking time! It was constant!

This is probably not going to make any sense to you at all, but-- this isn't the first time? That I've seen things like this? That I've had my every negative thought, every mistake, every action called in to question, and every bad impulse thrown in my face by something else? Something I could see doing it? Something that wouldn't leave me alone? And it fucking sucked then, too! That time, it was a magical key doing it. This time, it was her. Or who ever trusts her enough to put her in charge.

Why don't you want to see that someone is doing this to us on purpose?

[pearlstrings]

You've decided that it's her. That doesn't mean that it is.

This isn't the first time I've had an experience like this either, and I doubt it will be the last. But that's irrelevant to the situation at hand.

You're very focused on blaming someone else for being forced to relive your pain. But that won't help anyone else around you, and it reduces resources better spent on finding a way to solve the problem that keeps us here.

[moderatelymaladjusted]

[Quentin starts writing a lot of different replies to that, ranging from anger to probably whining about his own life and his own circumstance and defending himself, and he deletes them all. Staring at the tablet, he takes a deep breath.]

You know what? You're right, there is a better way to solve this.

[pearlstrings]

[Some people might see this reply and be comforted by it. Bruce however, has seen only volatility and poor judgement thus far. He is not comforted.]

Let me guess, you've made the decision to venture off alone, possibly with the intent of reaching the lighthouse keeper, because despite the deaths of those who have tried before and despite the diversity of the people here- you are special, and you are the only one who could do it all along.

[moderatelymaladjusted]

What? No! I'm not a fucking idiot! Even if I'm right, she has a finger on the button that could kill everyone. I'm not going to do anything to get everybody killed or reset, or whatever thing we're calling it today.

[pearlstrings]

I wasn't talking about everyone. I was talking about you.

But it's interesting don't you think? Dr Ingram's last public message was about how the absence of light might affect us, and here we are. That sounds cyclical, don't you think?

[moderatelymaladjusted]

I'm not going put anyone in danger! Jesus, no.

It does, yeah. Are you trying to say that he knew, too? Because yeah, maybe he did. Could he be behind it? Sure, why the fuck not.

[pearlstrings]

No. I said cyclical. As in events that have happened before and may happen again.

Assigning blame is a waste of time and resources, but you seem unusually preoccupied by the task. You said that you'd been haunted by things like this before. What did you learn?

[moderatelymaladjusted]

Right. That's comforting.

Not to trust pretty redheads?

[pearlstrings]

I realize you're probably being facetious, but if you allow the thought to settle for a moment, it is. Comforting.

[moderatelymaladjusted]

How the hell is knowing that this is going to happen again comforting?

[pearlstrings]

By serving as a reminder that this isn't personal and is unlikely to be an attack from a single individual but is instead, a pattern repeating through time, continually affecting this space.

It challenges a myopic perspective.

[moderatelymaladjusted]

Right. So, it's comforting for you to think that this isn't personal. That there's no one doing this, it's just this town's version of the flu? Do you really believe that?

[pearlstrings]

You're coming from a strange standpoint to ask about belief. I'm drawing upon the evidence.

Thus face we can confirm that the spirits have been encouraged to interact with us on a limited understanding of generalized human customs from earth. This interaction is not always appropriate or accurate, like their gift giving. The seasons have changed. This feels appropriately festive, don't you think?

We can confirm that there are creatures destroying worlds.

We can confirm that this world was not always shrouded in darkness and that these creatures that are drawn to light.

There's little reason to accuse someone who's priority is on finding a solution. I suspect that you dislike her on principle, on the basis that she can perform the resets. But we are all capable of 'killing' one another without her interference and that threat is far more present. Causing this would be an enormous waste of time.

I understand that you're having an emotional reaction to your own history and trauma. But reactions like this come as a detriment to the group. You need to think of more than yourself. We're relying on one another for survival. This is not a helpful contribution.

[moderatelymaladjusted]

You're drawing upon hearsay. Who told you the spirits wants to communicate? Who says they don't understand us perfectly well, and are doing the things that they do on purpose?

How? Have you seen them? Because all I've seen, is someone telling me that they are coming and that it's on us to stop them.

And how how did you do that? This whole world could have been created to be dark. You have no idea if it ever had a sun. It could have had two, three. Or none. Gods do stupid shit like that all the time.

Oh, fuck you. I'm having a reaction to being forced to see things that aren't real and I'm not doing this to be helpful? I'm doing this because what just happened? Sucked balls!

[pearlstrings]

Yes, it did.

But the grief is never going to stop. It doesn't matter whether you're forced to see something or not.

We can't afford to be this self-centered.

[moderatelymaladjusted]

It does matter. It matters a lot? How can you not see it? It's grinding us down and for what? Shits and giggles? How would seeing something like this help us? It's just another roadblock, another distraction.

Maybe there's no quest at all, and this is just purgatory.