AUDIO. @VEGEMIGHT; OPEN.

[magnitudes]

( Hello there, darkness dwellers. Is this a new voice you here? It sure is, lucky you. The accent is Australian, broad almost to the point of cliche, and there's something oddly lackadaisical about it, given the... well. The everything, really. )

So, not being funny, but has anyone, I dunno... fallen off the ferry and gotten a bit cuddly with some mysterious glowy, kinda ethereal-seeming tentacles?

Asking for a friend.

Comments

[magnitudes]

I've never been prouder in my life. I feel like... like I have succeeded as a parent.

( Hand on her heart. So moved. )

[magnitudes]

Oh, man, you raised my hopes. Imagine how great this place would be if Whitney was here?

( RIP her hopes and dreams. )

You could throw money at me in the meantime. Help me fund the idea.

[webshoots]

[ he laughs. ]

I mean, it is kind of cheating — in-laws are, what, a universally terrifying concept, even when they've been your neighbour your entire life... [ beat; an aside, more to himself than to sarissa: ] Or is that especially when? [ it's that second one when you manage to miss the fucking wedding, HEY. ]

Ordinarily I'd say that we Americans have very carefully cultivated our international image, kind of like — a de...fence mechanism? [ beat. ] You know what, I'm going to quit while I'm ahead because honestly, I've only left New York about three times. [ not entirely true, but whatever. ] Jersey's basically a foreign country and I can only apologise for everything that comes from there, and I'm still not unconvinced that Newark shouldn't be a quarantine zone.

—Geographically, sure. Spiritually? Jury's out.

[reigniter]

If you do not have aversion to bagels I can bring you some over

[He ran into some people adamantly refusing to eat bread so he has to ask]

I usually don't speak of her aside from mentioning her involvement with the events that transpired in the past months
And I let people form their own opinion about her.
I don't want to be accused of turning people against her

[With the way things are going, she'll do that herself.]

[necromantiae]

What money would you like me to throw at you?

( death didn't make him rich. )

Unless you mean Monopoly money because I can probably find that and throw it at you.

[mollymocked]

[Molly does not say he's pretty sure he was a cult leader in another life, because Lucien is a tool and doesn't even go here, and as such this doesn't offend him.]

Normally, I'm anti-establishment enough to not be about anything, but fine cheeses sounds harmless and good for everyone. Nothing bad ever happened to people who enjoy cheese.

[saibot]

And how did it accomplish that? If it saved your life I doubt it was on purpose.

Sounds good to me xD

[justcawse]

[You know... He can somewhat appreciate it, even if it wasn't done very well.]

I don't know what to think about you now that you've deceived me already. How do I know you won't keep lying to me?

[OKAY HE'S 120% JOKING. Because let's be honest, lying is all he ever did.]

I'm just as slow, don't even worry about it <3

[freetobe]

I can assure you, there is no presence of Christ in this place. Or in the water, I suppose.

[ Is he being serious, or deliberately obtuse? Hard to tell. ]

You were in the water with your friend, then?

[survivaltricks]

Is that what parenthood is about? Teaching your kid how to pun?

[magnitudes]

I mean, I'll take it. It won't be the Indecent Proposal re-enactment I was hoping for, but I'll do my best.

[magnitudes]

how morally bankrupt would a person have to be to not love bagels?

I mean, that isn't exactly filling me with open minded confidence
but I like your style

[magnitudes]

Unless they were lactose intolerant, I guess. We can light a candle in their honour at every meetings - those who are denied the blessings of our Lord, Cheesus Christ.

[magnitudes]

I mean, I guess you can't. Our friendship started with falsehood, and maybe it's a pattern doomed to repeat? An ouroboros of deception and betrayal.

[magnitudes]

If it's not then my parents did a shitty job.

( hahaha she laughs like it's a joke how funny how good
no her parents really did do a shitty job tho RIP )

[magnitudes]

It could have let me drown, but I guess something had to dump me back on the boat. Not sure what else it could have been, you know?

we're in this together

[magnitudes]

My friend was a cunning rouse to try and deceive people into believing I'm a more competent person.

( She says it with an air of drama, because she assumes he's figured it out and is just playing with her. )

But... I'm meant to go to church every Sunday, so I need there to be maybe like a hint of Christ?

[justcawse]

Hmm... You say that, but that sounds awfully truthful for someone who's talking about it continuing.

[magnitudes]

Maybe it's all a deliberate game to disarm and confuse you.

[justcawse]

You'll have to try a little harder than that.

[magnitudes]

Oh, okay, uh-- gimme a sec.

( Dramatic inhale, and exhale. A pause.

And then, in the styling of a Great Shakespearian Orator, )

MayBE it's ALL a deliberrrrrrate game to disARM! and confuuuuuse you.

( Scene. )

How was that?

[justcawse]

[She's going to get a nice, gloved slow clap for that.]

Impressive. Have you ever thought about an acting career?

[magnitudes]

No, no. I mean, I wouldn't want to intimidate the greats, you know?

I'm so tired that I nearly changed a voice to an action post. Whoops.

[justcawse]

Who knows? You could always end up as one of 'the greats'.

[Pulling BS out of no where like it's nothing.]

Ah, how rude of me. I'm Goro Akechi.

[necromantiae]

I think I must have missed that one.

( it sounds scandalous though. )

Indecent Proposal?