[But Peter is still talking, flat on the bed like being upright it just too much of a chore and Quentin gets it, that bone-deep desire to just crawl in to bed and stay there for a few days, weeks, months. Stay there, until the world stops feeling quiet so unreal and disappointing.
He can't do that, though. Because if he stops, even for a moment, he's going to lose it. He's going to lose whatever motivation he has and he's going to just break. Fly apart at the seams and be less than just ordinary useless. Extraordinary useless.
Quentin sighs and leans his hip against the table, rubbing his face with both hands again, digging his heels in to his eye-sockets.]
I know. Alright? I'm not stupid, I get that if you come along, you're going to feel responsible, even if you aren't? But-- listen, that list? I just wanted to help, and flying above the trees would be really helpful, except that can't happen and-- and maybe. I thought maybe someone here would be more powerful at magic, than me? Or, have magic that wasn't affected like mine is? I never said that people without powers were bad? Or that they couldn't be helpful. That's not--
[He huffs in frustration] I think you'd care because you'd feel responsible? [Jesus, Peter, let up on the whole duty thing? Because Quentin gets it, gets feeling responsible even if you might not be.
The feeling like the whole world is on your shoulders, and yours alone.] But-- you wouldn't be? [a shrug] And no-one would think you are. I wouldn't.
So what? Huh? So what if I'm struggling. I'm always struggling. It's not-- it's not like this is something special? I just-- I can't not do something and this is what I came up with. I can't think of any other way to search the woods and find the way out.
You said you'd help, but if you'd rather not? That's fine. I can do this on my own.
no subject
[But Peter is still talking, flat on the bed like being upright it just too much of a chore and Quentin gets it, that bone-deep desire to just crawl in to bed and stay there for a few days, weeks, months. Stay there, until the world stops feeling quiet so unreal and disappointing.
He can't do that, though. Because if he stops, even for a moment, he's going to lose it. He's going to lose whatever motivation he has and he's going to just break. Fly apart at the seams and be less than just ordinary useless. Extraordinary useless.
Quentin sighs and leans his hip against the table, rubbing his face with both hands again, digging his heels in to his eye-sockets.]
I know. Alright? I'm not stupid, I get that if you come along, you're going to feel responsible, even if you aren't? But-- listen, that list? I just wanted to help, and flying above the trees would be really helpful, except that can't happen and-- and maybe. I thought maybe someone here would be more powerful at magic, than me? Or, have magic that wasn't affected like mine is? I never said that people without powers were bad? Or that they couldn't be helpful. That's not--
[He huffs in frustration] I think you'd care because you'd feel responsible? [Jesus, Peter, let up on the whole duty thing? Because Quentin gets it, gets feeling responsible even if you might not be.
The feeling like the whole world is on your shoulders, and yours alone.] But-- you wouldn't be? [a shrug] And no-one would think you are. I wouldn't.
So what? Huh? So what if I'm struggling. I'm always struggling. It's not-- it's not like this is something special? I just-- I can't not do something and this is what I came up with. I can't think of any other way to search the woods and find the way out.
You said you'd help, but if you'd rather not? That's fine. I can do this on my own.