How can I be if I'm not worth staying for? Not-- [ he shakes his head. feeling so empty and cold now that quentin's drawn away. he presses harder into himself trying to shove back all the emotions normally tucked neatly behind his mental barriers. quentin doesn't need to see all this. quentin doesn't want all this nonsense. he just wants to go. stop wasting his time.

eliot takes a moment to swallow it all back, force down every fear as he blinks back tears that never fell because he's not supposed to be anything but pristine. that's what quentin needs from him, right? that's the person that quentin fell in love with, not the mess hidden so well underneath. ]

It's fine. I. Shouldn't have assumed so much. [ only when he's sure he's collected himself does he dare look back up at quentin, tone and expression muted. ] I'm just. Complicating things now. But you have a plan and. And help. [ from someone that isn't him, but he shoves the thought away as soon as it enters. ] If there isn't anything for you to do here, then it makes sense.