[ he sobs then, feeling so hopeless. even quentin thinks he's beyond any help, beyond his help, and eliot hadn't realized when he'd stop being enough. q needed other things. needed things that felt like they actually mattered or made a difference, and he was just. not who quentin needed. at all. ]

I'm sorry. I'll. I'll be better. I'll try harder. I'll do whatever you want. Whatever you need me to do, okay?

I- if you have to go, I won't--

Then you should go.

I never meant to hold you back.