moderatelymaladjusted: (21)
Quentin Coldwater ([personal profile] moderatelymaladjusted) wrote in [community profile] networkinthenight2019-10-22 04:28 pm

[Audio] @ SuprNerd - open

[The first few seconds of the recording is just Quentin breathing, fast and shaky at first and just before he speaks, the breathing evens out. The whole speech will be said fast and jerky, like the words are just spilling out without thought.]

What the hell? I can't be the only one who's thinking this, but just what the fucking hell? What the hell just happened? This place, oh shit, this place just-- did any of you see things? Hear things? Fucking feel things? And why? Just, why? I thought we were here to help, to find a way to solve this-- this whole puzzle and suddenly there's something here that made me think I was losing--? That's just-- it was just to fuck with all of us?

What the hell? That's what I want to know - just, what the hell? Is this hell? Is that why?

So, if you're listening to this, lady in the lighthouse? Fuck you! Seriously. Fuck. You.

Also, someone took my hoodie and I need that, so please bring it back. Thanks.
knifecollecting: (The dreams you believe in)

@cuttingedge; audio

[personal profile] knifecollecting 2019-10-27 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
I think all of us did. I don't- [She pauses for a moment, sighing loud enough for Quentin to hear.]

Maybe there's not a reason if this is Hell. [Maybe it's just mindless torture. Maybe not.]

Maybe it's just to remind us to work together.
webshoots: (( mask ) dylan's hilarious tho)

[personal profile] webshoots 2019-10-27 08:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ peter's silent whilst quentin's explanation registers; it's accompanied by a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, one that says 'this is a really, really bad idea', and he leans forward, resting his head in his hands. search the woods. god. ] They don't record data, [ peter comments, voice tired and muffled; a breath of a pause and he lifts his head out of his hands and looks back up at quentin. ]

The only way we'd know where you'd been is if you recorded it and marked it off on your map, if you gave the grids a reference point. But they're not— They're pretty basic, y'know? There's not a whole lot to work with here, I'd have to modify each and every tablet, get some more equipment via Rastus, which is going to be pretty—. [ peter waves a hand: until the start of the month, they're not going to know what that's going to be like. he'd like to hope that there was some return to the status quo, but he's not going to kid himself that it's going to be the likeliest answer. if there is, he'll consider them lucky, but it means they'll have to have to wait another month for anything further. ]

All the tracker's going to do is leave a sort of ... ping for where you are, or wherever you've left it, for roughly a 100 yard radius. If you get lost or worse, we'll be able to find you if you've kept even a rough track of your location, but it's not going to tell us when you reached that point, how long it took you—.

[ peter pauses, exhales; stretches his arms out in front of him and then sighs. he hates this place. he wishes that he had someone like reed to bounce ideas off, or doc strange to ask for magic help in finding a portal back home, or — anything. it's not that he doesn't think it can be done with the group they've got, it's that he thinks it'd be faster, easier with someone more experienced with things like this. it's not that he's discounting the experiences of anyone else here, except—

(okay, maybe he is, a little.)

still, this isn't too far off of what peter had imagined using the trackers for, isn't too far off what peter ordinarily used his spider-tracers for: following people and things. there's one issue, though — other than one's he's already mentioned. ]


Are you going to be doing this alone?

[ from the sounds of it, peter thinks quentin plans on going into the forest by himself. the easiest way of tracking him would be to do it concurrently, to enter the forest just after him and keep out of his line of sight, but he's not sure about the feasibility of that. the other question it raises is: if he is going into the forest alone, why? of course it's safer going in with someone else, he'd have to be an idiot or — idiotically reckless not to entertain the thought. ]
webshoots: (( face ) lmao messenger bag really)

[personal profile] webshoots 2019-10-27 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)
We can also make a compass, [ peter comments, more to himself than to quentin. he doesn't mean to interrupt, it just slips out in the brief silence between remarks. it's not that he distrusts magic — there have been occasions, plenty of them, when he's relied on magic for help, when a magical problem has required a magical solution (because science sure doesn't always work on magic), and when magic has been the easier answer. even so, that's still more of a spider-man thing than a peter parker thing, as far as differentiation goes. peter parker's maybe caught a few snaps of doc strange in action before; spider-man's his friend (kinda, by a definition of the word), and a colleague.

someone mentioned that all of us trampling around in the woods could be seen as an invading force. peter considers that for a moment — maybe, he's willing to concede, but he's not convinced. surely it'd depend on who and how, on the way that spirits view them in general. truthfully, peter's not sure what the spirits understand of the larger issue at hand, about the fate of this world, its inhabitants, and the rest of the galaxy. if the spirits understand why they're here, then there's less likelihood of being viewed as an invading force, even as a group.

if they don't, then sure, mystery someone could be right. ]


But sure, maybe. [ he remarks, after a moment, the verbal equivalent of a shrug. ] I don't think we know enough about the spirits to make that judgement call one way or the other, but maybe your someone knows something I don't. [ punctuated by a breath of a pause and a wince. (ugh.) ] Sorry, that sounded snarkier than I meant it. [ a beat and a sigh; peter holds up a hand. ] I can come get your lantern, if it comes to it — because you're not wrong, if we don't have that, that's it for you. [ another pause, then— ] Listen, I'm not going to pretend I like this plan, but I respect that it's something you want — maybe need — to do, and if it gets us some kind of answer...
itselbitch: (let me think about it as i leave)

D-Day

[personal profile] itselbitch 2019-10-28 04:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he'd seen the preparation quentin had been doing, regardless of how well quentin might have attempted to hide it (knowing q, any of it would have been incidental rather than intentional anyhow), but as far as eliot was concerned, quentin may as well have been shouting back at him that he was going to still try and do something about all this the whole time anyway. despite eliot having argued against it the whole time, pushed to dissuade him, and fought to keep some sense of calm. there were a few times it even felt like he might have gotten through. but quentin, being quentin, never knows how to leave the tunnel once he's in it.

it hurts in a way that he doesn't know how to convey. he can only hold quentin closer when they sleep, let his touch linger as long as he can let it before he feels he's asking too much. they were supposed to be figuring things out together since everything else already seemed wretched enough on its own, and somewhere along the road, there had been promises, both spoke and otherwise, made. even before they came here, that's how it had been. with having arrived and started to find some footing, eliot had thought it meant they were all the stronger for it. except even now, with all of the history and emotions between them, even with what recently happened nearly tearing them apart at their own seams without even caring for the grander picture, he feels worlds apart as quentin carried on about what needs to be done, as eliot stifles the fear still embedded in his limbs, the ghost of malicious touches against his arms, his back.

they're meant to be parts of a whole. something incomplete without the other. but he watches as quentin prepares a bow, finds a quiver, fills it with arrows. eliot asks him to stay, but quentin only sees what's ahead, prepares to leave him behind.

when he's alone, he hears the hollow sound of the air vent from his childhood bedroom, the only sign of life beyond his breath and the shaking of his fingers against rumpled cloth clasped so tightly his knuckles are white. he doesn't want to be right. he doesn't want all of everything he worked years of his life for to be just a lie that lets him sleep at night. but what if it really just is? what if he'd been right all along about him and quentin too? all he'd ever really needed was the right person at his back, but here quentin stands far ahead, waiting for eliot to catch up.


the both of the know that if anything is going to be said, it will always have to be eliot. there's even a method to it, a way quentin simply does and silently dares eliot to say something, ready to fight back with something as angry as it is determined, but eliot had been avoiding it because he just wanted to feel home again, that feeling he'd somehow barely managed to find when quentin was recovering from his injuries. he doesn't quite find it. he can't when quentin is being like this, and while there are conversations they have where he fights back, they all end the same, and eliot knows he hasn't changed quentin's heart or his mind. he isn't like margo. he doesn't know how to fight and make people feel guilty for it. but maybe this is his own fault too, for thinking he could possibly be the solution to quentin's everything.

when q comes back with a torch, eliot ignores the sharp cold that pierces his chest and seeps to his fingers. he finishes making dinner, and only when they've cleaned up does he manage to find the words. ]


So. You're really going.

[ it's not a question because it couldn't be. not when it's fact. ]
itselbitch: (in the shadow i wake)

[personal profile] itselbitch 2019-10-28 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[ his voice his withdrawn. he knows what he says won't make a difference anymore. still a part of him wants to try, pleads desperately that quentin meant what he said when he promised to always do as eliot needs and so it must be true. there's only so much left to cling onto, and even what's left is barely even there. ]

Then can't it wait? Why now?
itselbitch: (just. why.)

[personal profile] itselbitch 2019-10-28 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he does want desperately to go too, to feel like he's something close to who he's supposed to be instead of...whatever disappointing mess he currently is. maybe that's why quentin doesn't want to listen: eliot's just no good like this. ]

I. [ he reaches for quentin's hand because suddenly the fear bubbles up like bile in his throat, and he can't shake the dread. he takes quentin's fingers in his own, barely grasping and yet steadied all the same. ] I can't. I'm. What if it does happen? What if we don't make it out this time? [ what if i don't, he means. ]

Please. I can't-- [ he shakes his head, an uneven panic lingering. ] Not right now.

[ not with mike's words still lingering, every action and inaction quentin makes a silent affirmation of false words that had bored into him for far too long. ]
itselbitch: (let me think about it as i leave)

[personal profile] itselbitch 2019-10-28 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I. I don't know? I'm. [ he swallows thickly, looking away. he really doesn't know, and it terrifies him just as much as the way quentin looks outside the windows into the dark. he doesn't feel right anymore, and it seems endlessly. if quentin is already okay, shouldn't he be better now? he's supposed to be better than this. so why isn't he? ]

It's not home if you're not here, Q. [ and he means that both for here as it is here and wherever quentin decides to go, if he goes. no, not if. he's going. eliot knows. he just doesn't want to believe it. ] If. If it happens again, wouldn't we still be safer here? Out there is. So much. The dark. Those. Those malevolent spirits deep in the woods. The rivers. And obviously a whole lot of other bullshit we're much safer avoiding.
pearlstrings: ((via shithouse)) (fortyone)

[personal profile] pearlstrings 2019-10-28 07:30 pm (UTC)(link)
People are reacting to it. I can't speak to the choices made by everyone else, but I suppose my answer is this:

You said that you can't watch this happen and not do something. I can't either. But I can't use my pain and outrage this way, it isn't productive. I'd rather turn it towards investigating- asking questions and following leads.

When emotions run high it's very easy to make reactive decisions and rush to judgment. It's a good time to invite obstacles and force yourself to slow down. I need to think of more than just myself. I've seen what kind of person I can be when I don't.

[A pause. It's just long enough for Bruce to squeeze his eyes closed and count through his exhale- a practice he'd adopted at Alfred's behest. It's easy, and always has been, for Bruce's thoughts to spin out ahead of him.]

What I told you about making a list was that some people would have experience with lists like that being used against them and that we have no guarantee that people who arrive here wouldn't manipulate it. And also told you that we should look at more than super human abilities for a solution. It's reasonable to believe that powerful people have come in groups like this in the past and they were still reset. We need to diversify.

[His posture softens and with it, so does his voice.]

If you asked me I would say that I believe your intentions are good.

But you need to surround yourself with people who challenge your perspective and your strengths. Find people that you trust but who don't always agree with you. It isn't simply a matter of staying balanced. But sometimes we need to be protected from ourselves.
itselbitch: (i have made a grave mistake)

[personal profile] itselbitch 2019-10-28 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[ his grip tightens. he can feel quentin slipping away. just like that. like it never mattered. ]

What if you can't? [ he doesn't bother hiding the fear this time. ] What if you find it somehow and get. Get stuck out there, and can't come back. What am I supposed to do then? Quentin. Please. Please. I- I. Can't lose you again.

[ and he means that. everything already feels like too much.

he winces as he forces himself to admit the next. ]
I need you here.
itselbitch: (let me think about it as i leave)

[personal profile] itselbitch 2019-10-28 08:55 pm (UTC)(link)
[ the knife twists as quentin justifies everything by saying that staying is just doing nothing, and eliot has to wonder if he's been more of a burden the whole while than he'd realized. had the hallucinations really made him such a trouble that quentin could find it so utterly unbearable? had it become a chore?

he withdraws his hand anxiously and sit straighter. he doesn't want to look weak. not if that's what quentin is hinging on. quentin had said he could be whatever eliot needed, but eliot had clearly overstepped his bounds somehow, asked for too much somewhere without realizing it. ]


How can I be safe if I don't also know that you are?

[ 'he doesn't care,' he hears mike say even without hearing a damn thing. 'he never needed you around to get shit done.' ]
itselbitch: (just. why.)

[personal profile] itselbitch 2019-10-28 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he shrinks back as if slapped. ]

What the hell do you mean, you can't help me? You're the one that's wanting to go when I need you here. "Can't help"? You're trying to walk away from it. L. Like I'm just some kind of hopeless wreck. Like you even really tried, but what, I'm not good enough of a charity case for you?

Jesus, Q.
itselbitch: (in the shadow i wake)

[personal profile] itselbitch 2019-10-28 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[ eliot folds his arms against his body, knuckles white from grasping so tightly onto his elbows. ]

Can you even hear me? I feel like I'm just.

[ did he imagine it? had he imagined finding q? making it out alive. had quentin even been there? or was it like mike too? ]

What happened to figuring things out together? You. We both said. [ in a long distant dream. it feels like months ago now, but it had only been weeks. ] Why is that not good enough now? How is this somehow so different? I don't. Understand. Why you think I need someone. "Strong"? I already said that I need you. I only need you. Does that just. Not matter at all here?

Quentin? [ he feels raw, like he's just walked out from the happy place again, and here's this stranger in front of him who doesn't want to know him, doesn't want to remember. i'm alive in here. ] Fifty years.

Page 5 of 9