audio / @hello / open

[lunchbreaks]

Hello, um, everyone. This is Aziraphale. I know I haven't met all of you, but I have gotten to know a good number of you as of late, and I've come to like you all a great deal, so it doesn't sit quite right with me not to apologize for recent events.

The sinking of the ferry was inexcusable. Our-- my failure, was a direct result of poor planning and lack of transparency, but I do need all of you to know that the intention had been to find our only way out of Beacon as other methods had been exhausted, and it was always in the plan to make subsequent trips for everyone remaining who wished a return home.

But I know that no amount of good intention will bring it back, nor heal your injuries, nor surface the supplies it was carrying. For all this, I am deeply and terribly sorry; this was, in no way, how I should have repaid all your kindnesses. I understand your anger, and you can direct it at me, if you would like, if you have need of a place to focus your ire.

However, I am afraid, actually, that I must ask a favor. I have, though not for lack of trying, not been able to retrieve much of the sunken raw material - if anyone should lend abilities, magical or otherwise, to help in the rebuilding of the ferry or the docks, you will have my deepest gratitude, for whatever that is worth.

I will try to assist with this as much as I possibly can, and otherwise will be available to assist those who require healing, though my ability to do so has been stunted.

Comments

[catholicisms]

So you willfully chose to try and sail off with a vessel full of people who had no desire to participate in your plan? It wasn't even a fit of passion, this was planned.

( for him, that actually makes it worse. )

This doesn't sound like something you'd do. How did you get involved in it?

[lunchbreaks]

Well, we were supposed to return everyone to where they belonged, and I was sort of told there was someone involved who knew how to operate a ferry, and they were going to do it with or without me and I couldn't very well say no because

[ Because honestly if Crowley comes up with a stupid idea like getting to a portal and trying to space-and-time travel with a bunch of humans then only Aziraphale can talk any sort of sense into him. ]

I thought I could keep everyone safe. And I thought maybe in the case we got out, and couldn't bring anyone back to life -- as a complete last resort -- I could at the very least try and open a pathway to Heaven for a proper judgment. This place is unnatural.

[catholicisms]

You could have said no. You could have warned others it was bound to happen, instead of leaving so many in the way when it all went south.

Apologies shouldn't be paired with excuses. What you did was selfish, pre-meditated, and hurt every last person here, in one way or another. If you genuinely feel badly for what you did, this isn't the way to show it.

[lunchbreaks]

These aren't excuses, Matt, you asked me how I came to be involved.

I am sorry for hurting everyone, but I am unable to fully heal anyone or even the ferry. Otherwise, I would have already done so. I am trying to do so manually.

[catholicisms]

"I couldn't say no" is absolutely an excuse. You could, you just didn't.

( he's honestly kind of astonished an angel could have such a flagrant disregard for the safety of others, but, it's probably for the best he knows. Aziraphale isn't perfect, and the catholic fanboy prob needed the reminder most of anyone. )

[lunchbreaks]

[ How does he explain that he can't say no to a dude he's known for six thousand years who would absolutely have fucked this up with or without Aziraphale's assistance, without throwing Crowley under several busses? ]

I didn't, and I vastly overestimated my ability to either stop the crash or heal those who were injured.

[ How about he just sidesteps it entirely. ]

I don't know what it is you wish me to say. I was wrong. I won't make the same mistake twice. I can't take back what I've done. I am trying to rebuild.

[catholicisms]

What exactly is going to keep you from making this mistake twice? That's the problem.

( as for what he can say, there's probably nothing. sorry Aziraphale... he'll get over it eventually. )

[lunchbreaks]

Nothing, really. And I understand if you don't trust that I won't.

[ Though he is going to put the phone down and have a cup of tea to calm his nerves. ]